GENDER ISSUES FROM A MALE PERSPECTIVE

Gathered together are a number of articles related to how men and boys are treated by society and the media. The articles, for the most part, concentrate on misandry, domestic violence and female violence and reflect an anti-RADICAL FEMINIST viewpoint. Although articles are pro-male, they are not anti-female.

Name:
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada

Monday, January 23, 2006

BOY VICTIMS OF SEXUAL ABUSE

Boys Can Be / And Are Victims of Abuse

Lately, I have been having more men come forward and tell me about being molested as children. These men are from all backgrounds and levels of society. But the common factor is they have never told anyone else about this secret from their past.

I have done some research. Statistics show approximately one out of every four girls will be molested before her 16th birthday. But those same statistics show one out of every six boys will also be sexually abused before their 16th birthday.

Why don't male victims of sexual abuse come forward and tell?

Male survivors have the same feelings of anger, fear, shame, embarrassment, guilt and confusion. Remember, these are children we are talking about who have been abused by a trusted adult.

So what are some of the reasons why most male victims keep quiet?

Society tells us boys are tough. In this day and age, boys are not supposed to express their feelings. If they are hurt, (physically or emotionally) they are not supposed to show it. So if they are sexually assaulted by either a male or a female, no one must know. The victim is ashamed and they can not appear weak to their peers.

Being abused by a man means you will become a homosexual. Even though there has never been any correlation revealed that show sexual experiences at an early age will determine a persons sexual preference, male victims are confused about why it happened to them and what it means about who they attract.

If a female sexually abuses a boy, it must be the boys fault. Many females (mother, step-mother, aunt, older sister, teacher, baby sitter) will coerce or use their position of power to force a boy to have sex with them. To be forced to have sex with someone is rape. It does not matter what the circumstances are. It is never the fault of the child just because the person doing the abusing is a female.

People will think you will become a child molester. Many victims, when they are grown up, believe they will be looked at as a potential molester rather than a victim. This is again caused by the way society reacts to male survivors. But this is NOT TRUE. The vast majority of male survivors do not molest children. They do not become molesters.

What can you do if your son, spouse or any male acquaintance comes forward and confesses to being abused?

*Do not judge the person.
*Give caring support.
*Gently push them towards treatment and help.
*Try to give a sense of "family rallying around the survivor" to give them the confidence to talk about it.

The last point I want to make about men who sexually abuse children is the difference between a homosexual male and a pedophile.

Homosexuality is a sexual preference for someone of the same sex. It is not a preference for children.

A pedophile has a sexual preference for children. It usually does not matter to them if that child is a boy or a girl. They want to have sex with a child. Pedophiles are very dangerous to society.

Men can live healthy lives and survive after being a victim of childhood sexual abuse. I know it can be done because I have met many such men. The road will be difficult just like it is for a female survivor. The same demons are present as well as many additional ones. But with proper help and a strong support system it can happen.


INCEST, SEXUAL ABUSE OR PHYSICAL ABUSE IS NEVER THE CHILD'S FAULT!

URL: http://www.twist-of-fate.com/MaleAbuse.html

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